Obstacles

First Unitarian Univeralist Church of Berks County
Rev. Sandra Fees
Obstacles
October 11, 2009
Page 1 of 4
© 2009, Rev. Sandra Fees
Excerpts may be quoted with attribution.
Most of us knew him first as Superman. In his real life,
he also fit the part. He was of course handsome and
strong. And he was also always striving toward a goal or
learning a new skill. He was Christopher Reeve.
Yesterday marked five years since his death.
In an accident at a horse riding competition in 1995, Reeve broke his neck
between the first and second cervical vertebrae. His life would never be the
same again. When he regained consciousness five days later, he was unable
to move anything below his neck.
Feeling despair, he wondered to his wife Dana of only three years, “Maybe
we should let me go?” It was probably hard for any of us to imagine Reeve
unable to ride, sail, or ski. It was probably hard for us to imagine him unable
to any longer look like the Superman we knew him as. It must have been
impossible for him to imagine. His wife didn’t have that problem. She said
she would honor any decision he made, but added, “You’re still you, and I
love you.” Reeve never regretted the decision to live.
Though he lost so much, he found a way to go forward. He did more than
endure the hardship of being a quadriplegic. He exercised immense personal
strength and integrity. He recognized he had some pretty important things,
despite what had happened. He had the love of his family, he had money,
and he had fame.
Rather than lamenting all that he had lost, he spent the remainder of his
years using his resources to work toward a new goal. It’s so remarkable to
think about. How many of us could have done what he did? He used his
fame and money to work toward a cure for spinal cord injuries, for himself,
and also for others. Reeve always hoped that he would walk again. Given his
type of injury, and despite three hours of exercise a day, he knew that
wasn’t going to happen. Reeve recognized that it would take science
alongside exercise to do that.
So he and his wife set up the Christopher and Dana Reeve Foundation to
help pay scientists to research a cure. And he became an advocate for stemcell
research. He never did walk except for a very few steps in a pool with
great assistance. But he never gave up hope.
When I think about the people who have inspired me, they are almost
invariably people like Reeve. They are people who faced great challenges
Obstacles (cont’d.)
Rev. Sandra Fees
Page 2 of 4
© 2009, Rev. Sandra Fees
Excerpts may be quoted with attribution.
and persevered. They aren’t superheroes because things came easily to
them. They aren’t people who have had easy and unfettered lives. They are
people who took the bad with the good, who found ways to turn the bad into
something good.
What makes us incredible and powerful isn’t our ability to cruise through life,
but our ability to adapt and grow, to confront the impediments we face and
come to terms with them. Doing that is a difficult and messy proposition.
The deep spiritual work of being human is to do what Reeve did. It means
finding a way to make some sense of our lives despite and because of the
obstacles. If we don’t, we are going to lead lives of bitterness and anger,
lives of frustration and despair, lives of meaninglessness.
When things don’t go according to plan, then we need to change our plan.
When things happen that don’t conform to the way we think the world
works, then we are going to need to rethink our understanding of who we
are and what we believe. We’re going to need to get a new plan, and find
another path.
One of the common things that I hear from many people today is that these
obstructions are lessons to make us better people or that they happen for a
reason. I have heard this so often that I wonder if it is simply true or if it has
become a coping mechanism for us as a society. It can give us comfort that
our suffering and struggle are designed with a purpose. That there’s a
reason for it all. That it will all turn out okay.
But I confess, when I hear this, I can’t help but wonder, is life really a
lesson? If so, what kind of teacher gives such hard lessons? I mean, do we
believe that the universe or God sent us ill fortune or hardship so that we
would learn something?
I will tell you that I don’t exactly share this viewpoint. I don’t believe that
Christopher Reeve became a quadriplegic so he could learn something new.
That would be too cruel. For Unitarian Universalists who mostly envision
God, Ultimate Reality, as love and goodness, or benign at worst, it is a
stretch to think of God as a force that punishes or tests us in this way.
But it is also true that what happened to Reeve shaped who he would
become. We do learn from life’s challenges. The obstacles we encounter
shape who we are becoming – for good or ill. They call into question
everything we thought we knew, what we believe, what we thought our lives
would be, and even our sense of who we are. They bring challenges to the
Obstacles (cont’d.)
Rev. Sandra Fees
Page 3 of 4
© 2009, Rev. Sandra Fees
Excerpts may be quoted with attribution.
way we thought things were going to be and to the way we thought things
were supposed to be.
This can end up making us better people, but it doesn’t always. It can help
us discover hidden talents, but sometimes it takes nearly everything from us
in the process. It can slow us down and help us make more informed
decisions if it doesn’t break us in the process. Obstacles can help us know
that we really truly want something because we’re willing to stick with it and
overcome the barriers, or they can lead us to keep butting our heads up
against the wall or to give up entirely on life.
Hindrances can keep us engaged by making things more interesting. If
things are too easy, we can grow bored and lazy. Just think about the
benefits gifted programs offer young people. Obstacles can keep us out of
trouble. Curfews, barricades to ravines, for example, keep us from injury.
They can help us find a better way, but they can also lead to more and more
trouble. So sometimes they’re good; sometimes not so good. What is an
obstacle one day can become a gift the next, as we saw in our time for all
ages this morning.
I wrestled with this topic and continue to. This week I even wondered why I
had chosen such an impossible sermon topic. Because for each good thing I
can say about how obstacles can benefit our lives, I can find a time when
they destroyed people’s hopes and dreams. On the one hand, there’s the
impeded stream which sings. On the other, there’s the agony of wishing in
the heart.
Ultimately, though, there’s just no escaping it. Each and every one of us will
face challenges in our lives – some perhaps more than others. Some will be
minor snags. They may almost seem unworthy of mentioning alongside the
story of someone like Reeve. Others are monumental in their own right.
Some of them are of our own making and others are random, chaotic, and
arguably beyond our control.
Just think about what happens when we have a mental illness or an
addiction. Or when we face a chronic or debilitating illness or experience
societal barriers to equality. We can probably each think of times we held
attitudes with which we were raised that brought us more misery than joy.
We may lose a job. Our spouse or partner may leave us. These are things
we didn’t ask for and would not wish on another person. The great mystery
is how we go on and find joy and happiness in spite of and, yes, sometimes
even because of these things. How is that possible? When something stands
Obstacles (cont’d.)
Rev. Sandra Fees
Page 4 of 4
© 2009, Rev. Sandra Fees
Excerpts may be quoted with attribution.
in the way, how is it possible to make sense of our lives and make the living
matter?
Finding ways to do that is the real challenge we face. We need to learn to
find blessings even in our brokenness. We need to learn to respond
positively even when life tells us to “Keep Out” or “Stop.” We need to learn
to respond with love and kindness when what we want and love most is
taken from us.
After his accident, Reeve became a Unitarian Universalist. He said,
If I believed my injury was inflicted by God, I'd have to believe that God
wanted thousands of innocent people to die on 9/11, or any one of
numerous other occasions you could mention. Unitarians don't believe in
a punishing God, but in the essential goodness of human beings and
that God is good. I think life is basically random and chaotic. The crucial
question then becomes: are we generous, caring people?
Are we generous, caring people? The idea that life is random and chaotic
may at first seem poor solace in tough times. But I have always believed an
honest faith that recognizes the possibilities and the limitations we face is
also a more hopeful faith. It focuses our attention on what we can do. It
pushes us to be caring and generous people. Are we people of compassion
and love? Are we extending ourselves in deep gratitude and generosity to
each other and to the world?
When we experience the many injuries and impasses in our lives, the many
wounds, our greatest hope is to embrace our own brokenness and not to run
from it. And we need to find a way to do that for each other.
The challenges will come – bidden or unbidden. In the face of them, may we
learn to be generous and caring people who can shed hope and light. May we
learn to grow and adapt. May we remember the ultimate goodness of life and
people, and see to manifest the love of God in ourselves and the world.
Let us strive to extend ourselves in compassion and kindness to each other.
Let us learn to take the hand that has been dealt us and make something of
meaning, purpose and beauty from it. Let us create something of ourselves
that will add to the wonder and awe of this magnificent world that is everunfolding,
ever-evolving.
May it be so. Blessed be.